January 2011
“My heart says “do it”
my mind warns me “later”
my conscience whispers “maybe”...”
– Unknown (via questionabledreams)
Everyone shut the fuck up about "being ready" and...
girlpls:
word
December 2010
people born in 1993-1999 have lived in two...
theicebluearcticsea:
getyourassbeat:
eyyjess:
“It’s not meant to be like this; not what I planned at all. I don’t...”
– The Walk | Imogen Heap
that awkward moment when you don't know if a car...
rickopedia:
lovelifeandlollipops:
babydo0ll:
Ahahaha that’s exactly me :D
Made me lol
.
That irritating moment when a Wikipedia article...
Age of Reason: Yeah... Shit Happens →
ageofreason:
Taoism: Shit happens Hare krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Ding Hinduism: This shit has happened before Islam: That shit happens is the will of Allah Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit? Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens” 7th day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays...
Don't get me wrong, Gay people are the sickest....
alldelightedpeople:
iamsylviaplath:
(via phileho)
oh my god
“Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted.”
– John Lennon (via ageofreason)
HONEST THOUGHTS OF YOUR TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN.:... →
ironiccontradictory:
When you say, “That’s so Gay,” do you realize what you say?
It pisses me off when my friends constantly refer to the word “Gay” as stupid, lame, etc. Not only does it offend homosexuals, but you’re basically referring to their sexuality or even themselves as stupid. Jeebusfuckingmurphy,…
The New Testament
God: Hey Jews.
Jews: Hey.
God: So listen, guys, I'm thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.
Jews: What?
God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.
Jews: We don't follow.
God: Okay, work with me here, guys. Remember the whole "angry God" thing?
Jews: Vividly.
God: Where I killed a whole bunch of you and-
Jews: Yeah.
God: And forty years in the-
Jews: We remember that.
God: Not to mention Robo-Hitler. Yikes.
Jews: Wait, what?
God: Whoops, forget I said that. "Spoiler Alert," am I right?
Jews: ...
God: Anyway, we're going to re-work this whole “God" thing. For example, kid-friendly is big these days in religion.
Jews: So, like...?
God: For example, I'm super chill now, for some reason. Plus there's a heaven. Oh, and this is Jesus. He's my son, and he's God too, or something. It's complicated, ok?
Jesus: Yo.
Jews: I think we'll stick with the old one here.
God: Look, I love the brand loyalty, Jews, I really do. But this whole “God" thing isn't playing to the right demographics. Jesus is a hip, young God, you know, for the whole “A.D." generations.
Jesus: Surfs up, dudes!
God: Ha, that Jesus. What a character, right? This is going to play huge in Rome…
Jews: This…goes against everything you've ever told us.
God: No it doesn't, so just shut up. Also, Jesus, you're going to die.
Jesus: What? I thought I was your son! Or God. Or both!
God: Look, this is just complicated, okay Jesus? Besides, you totally return when you fight the Devil.
Jews: Who?
God: Right, he's another new character. He's like an evil God. Plot twist, right? We're arch enemies.
Jesus: Why would you make your own arch-enemy? That's really stupid.
God: Shut up, Jesus. And what would you know? You're made of bread and wine.
Jesus: What? Why?
God: Sponsorships, alright? New testaments aren't cheap.
Jews: I'm sorry, this is just way too different. Is this your fan-fiction or something?
God: Of course not. This is the logical progression of Judaism which I planned all along. Like when I made all those references to a lamb.
Jews: You made, like, five.
God: Well, they were all about Jesus. Foreshadowing. Um, I guess. So there.
Jews: Couldn't you have been clearer then?
God: I work in mysterious ways, okay? Look, just go with it guys. I worked really hard on this. And come on, you totally owe me for the whole "creation" thing anyway.
(pause)
Most Jews: Well, I guess we could.
God: Awesome! "Most Jews," aka "New Christians"-
New Christians: We're what now?
God: You won't regret this guys. I have the whole thing planned perfectly.
Holy Ghost: Oooooooooh!
God: ...
New Christians: ...
God: You're going to love it.
when sleeping, otters hold hands so they don't...
rxchellerequillas:
lifeaccording:
this has to be the cutest thing i’ve ever heard of.
thats cute
Tumblr has a new login page?
teap0ts:
buryyoualive:
hm. Doesn’t matter, I never log out anyways.
lol I didn’t even know..
There is nothing worse than getting a Christmas...
A while ago in my AP Chemistry class, this one...
helmaroc-king:
miggrator:
-thundercock:
randommakings:
Dude,
srsly.
Fuck
Need this on my blog.
This… omg.
Lunar Eclipse! You know what that means..
shutitupandswallow:
The fire nation will be able to take over the water tribe at 3:17 AM.
I hate you. I mean I love you and all, but you...
“The hands that help are far better than the lips that pray”
– Robert G Ingersoll (via ageofreason)
Song That Never Was | Imogen Heap
The awkward moment when the priest refers to Mary...
“There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages.”
– Ruth Hurmence Green (via ageofreason)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why...
makelifecount:
Hmmm think about it.
lady-battlehawk asked: What? You think I didn't watch Sailor Moon? I know it's also Jupiter ect. It's also still fun. =)
lady-battlehawk asked: What? You think I didn't watch Sailor Moon? I know it's also Jupiter ect. It's also still fun. =)
